53. Spiked: The Danger & Trauma in a Word (and Brands' Tone-Deaf Choice to Market With It)
Drink-spiking in the UK plus the overall push for safety in bars; tarot that says, "you did it!".
Spiking, Safety, Victim-Blaming, and RTD Names That Really Miss the Mark
The United Kingdom is confronting an epidemic: drink-spiking. According to Metro, 2,201 people in England and Wales reported spiking incidents to the police in 2021—but, it’s thought that only one in 12 report spiking, and that the real number could hover around 43,000 victims in one year alone.
I don’t live in the United Kingdom. So, I could be very well be wrong here, and maybe efforts are actually lagging far behind, which wouldn’t be surprising because, well, frankly most governments and all police departments are…idk, is “evil” too strong a word? But from where I sit across the ocean, it seems like the UK is doing something we don’t see a lot here in the US, which is at least actively addressing the problem. There is media attention, and there are public campaigns—I wrote about visiting Bristol and constantly coming across sheer signage listing the “Bristol Rules,” aimed at overall nightlife safety with specific programming to target drink-spiking; the city’s police are participating in rolling out measures like drink-testing kits.
The number of spiking victims—and that’s just including the ones we know about—is staggering, and it brings up so many questions. Why is this happening—has it always been this bad; if not, then why now; if so, why are we just hearing more now? Is it actually happening more in the UK than in the US, or is the UK just actually talking about it and trying to tackle the pervasive problem? Will these plans be effective? And how is there such a disconnect between drink-spiking being front of mind in the UK and “spiked” being used as a neutral-positive branding term in beverage alcohol in the States?
My friend Jen does live in the UK. She was my traveling companion for the London and Bristol beer adventures—and misadventures—in that aforementioned newsletter issue, she talked to me about feeling safe at festivals for the Hugging the Bar x Women of the Bevolution fest safety guide, and she also recently launched her own newsletter that I mentioned a few issues back, Love Letters by Jen Kaarlo. Jen is a travel writer and editor who also writes about love, dating, relationships, and general life and tough decisions and being a woman in 2022. And unfortunately, Jen has experience being spiked—she really generously talked about it with me so we could address this issue in our newsletters. From Jen:
"For weeks after my spiking incident occurred I was consumed with shame and continually thought how could I have put myself in this situation…I’m 38 and have traveled the world solo—I know what to look for and what to be cautious of, but that night evil won. As I began to open up and tell people what happened to me, I worked to keep my shame monster in check. Similar to what has been unfolding in the UK with women’s safety after the murders of Sarah Everard and Sabina Nessa, we as women have been told to not walk in the streets after dark or take taxis to/from destinations, but again, this reasoning puts the onus on women being hyper aware at all times versus being directed towards men who are creeps or criminals.
Men’s gaslighting is pervasive and powerful, and sometimes just the intensity of their voice has the ability to make one feel like they’ve been in the wrong.
As women we are institutionalized to deal with constant harassment and, as seen with Amber Heard, we must play the part of the perfect victim. Speaking up often comes with overwhelming levels of scrutiny: Did we dance? Did we show a bit too much excitement? God forbid, did we have a drink? Even some steadfast feminists will ask ‘Were you really spiked or did you just have a few too many beverages?’ We can’t win.”
Sometimes, statistics can be hard to process. Massive numbers can be impossible to wrap your head around, and you feel numb to it. Individual experiences more profoundly drive a message home, which is something that resonated with me when Jen listed just a few examples of recent occurrences:
“My friend and I were talking last night about how she knows a 50-something woman who was recently spiked at her local spot. [Here, Jen was referring to a conversation we’d been having that there’s a perception drink-spiking is a young person’s problem, that it’s happening to people going to clubs, and/or that it’s—this is gross, but a public attitude that exists nonetheless—something that affects young people because that’s who would be attractive to the perpetrator.]”
“When I was at a house party recently, a newly made friend asked me to watch her drink while she went to the loo. Despite it being a smallish group of friends of friends, she still [feels she must be] beyond cautious.”
“I recently spoke to a group of young women who were all spiked on New Year’s. All five of them spoke of a similar physical experience and losing the sensation in your legs—in an instant it feels like your bottom half is one of an octopus.”
“I’ve also heard about two women who were spiked and taken to the perpetrator’s house. The women were comatose and when the men realized the gravity of the situation of what they had done they dusted drugs around the womens’ nostrils so that when they went to Met Police they wouldn’t be taken seriously.”
The sheer prevalence of spiking is something I find overwhelming. It’s the dizzying numbers, and it’s the seemingly constant running into people who have been victimized. It’s waking up to headlines about spiking week after week—a great thing, to have the media actually covering this, but the need driving it is sobering nonetheless. And that begs the question, is this happening more now or is it just finally being properly discussed and acknowledged? Living through the longer, more restrictive lockdowns in the UK (compared to the US) and then returning to social life and nightlife, Jen sees the pandemic very possibly contributing to a rise in spiking.
“It has everything to do with the pandemic paired with isolation and a sense of powerlessness,” Jen says. “Now that venues are open again and revelers are out in droves, there is a blurred desire to regain a sense of control that was lost during the pandemic.”
What Jen says next describes a frankly sickening and frightening reality about a lot of men’s behavior in general lately (I mean, always, but you know, also lately), a sort of general harrowing umbrella under which spiking is just one of many threats women and non-binary people face when going out.
“I’m a strong woman, but in the last six months many men I’ve encountered on nights out simply refuse to leave when I say I’m not interested. Aggressive men aren’t responding well to disappointment and hearing the word ‘NO.’” I have experienced this, too—I’ve written about it here sometimes, texted friends about it others, and simply found myself unable to talk about in other instances still. Considering we did not have the long, strict lockdown here in the States that the UK had, I don’t know what’s behind what I see as a general heightened aggression from men. Was the lockdown we had here enough of a catalyst? Is it fusing with a general seething resentment for women as we dare fight for our rights as they’re being methodically stripped away?
Spiking could very well be happening more in the UK than in the US, owing to quarantine orders and country-specific tensions. And it could be getting talked about more, too. But…does it matter? What I mean is: spiking is a fucking horror. So too is any kind of harassment, aggression, assault—anywhere at any time but in this specific discussion we’re talking about at the bar, club, or pub. Spiking is an epidemic that must be stopped, but I think the takeaway is that whatever form of attack is being taken in whatever country, it must be stopped.
I can’t stress enough that I mean this in conjunction with the fact that every campaign happening in the UK is good and needed and in fact these efforts need to grow and intensify in order to end spiking now, but I also think that when comparing that to the situation in the US, we can’t let the apparent conclusion that spiking isn’t happening here as much detract from an overall push for safety in drinking venues. If someone wasn’t spiked, but happened to be under the influence of alcohol when they were harassed or assaulted, does that make it somehow their doing? The word “no” doesn’t even begin to do that question justice. In the moment, it can be difficult to determine if there was an incident of spiking or an offense made in the presence of alcohol, and we cannot let that matter—the end result must be absolute safety for women and non-binary people, with the onus 100% on men to not be predators instead of on women and non-binary people to watch what they drink or wear and how they act, or to not go out at all.
Haleigh Harrold is the executive director of the SAFE Bar Network, which trains staff at alcohol-serving venues in order to create safe spaces and stand up against sexual violence. SAFE Bar Network focuses on alcohol in general in its programs, as alcohol is “used as a tool to excuse bad behavior or make someone vulnerable,” Haleigh says. “We train our partners to step in and stop the boundary-testing behavior that often precedes someone spiking a drink.” Consequences for attacks are vital. Prevention, or the idea of intervening before a would-be perpetrator even has the chance to act, is also vital, and leads to the even better outcome of no attack happening in the first place. From campaigns in the UK like Bristol Rules to programs like SAFE Bar Network in the US, it’s possible to imagine a future in which we can actually feel safe heading out at night, and where we don’t internalize anything that does happen as if it was somehow our fault, which is something that is unfortunately part of the trauma response in these cases. The goal to remove the potential for that self-blaming or victim-blaming is also at the core of the SAFE Bar Network’s training.
“Most survivors (and others who believe they were drugged) will never know for sure if they were drugged and we don't want to be part of adding to their guilt and shame by leading them to believe there is a definitive answer,” Haleigh says. “We train our partners to believe people when they say there is a problem and work to restore comfort and safety. Our message would be, if you believe you were drugged, you likely were and what happened to you is not your fault. You deserve a safe night out.”
“97% of women in Bristol have experienced sexual harassment. When we interviewed Bristol’s men, almost half couldn’t articulate what sexual harassment is.”
That’s from the site for Bristol Rules creator, organization Bristol Nights. Whether it’s spiking, harassment, aggression, assault—this is happening, it’s happening everywhere and all the time, and it needs to stop. We need to support the work of Bristol Nights and the SAFE Bar Network, among others, by speaking up and holding venues accountable.
While we work toward a safer future and fight for the basic right to exist free of threat amid a sea of traumatizing offenses, one thing that really strikes me is the use of the word “spiked” in branding for beverage alcohol brands here in the US. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, “spike” has meant “to lace a drink with liquor” since 1889, but it’s hard to decipher why or how that terminology came to be. Regardless, it seems that if you search for the term now, any site that comes up that’s not American (and even some that are) mainly uses it for its more nefarious meaning—not some mischievous teens “spiking” the punch at a high school dance in a John Hughes-esque movie, but a rapist drugging someone’s beverage at a bar. “Spiked” is shorthand for drugging a victim to attack them to so many people, it really seems to be the dominant definition—so how the hell is this an adjective brands are using to sell their wares, like Simply Spiked Lemonade? Mm, yum-yum-yum, I can get my Mickey Finn in strawberry, blueberry, or watermelon!
Naming your product “spiked” anything feels so tone-deaf, and it’s a move that’s becoming more prevalent with the growth of RTD’s and just about anything you can think of made alcoholic and put in a can. We have other words that would work here just fine, that wouldn’t remind anyone of past trauma and that aren’t associated with a nightmarish criminal activity. “Not to be funny but having worked in SEO for over a decade calling a drink ‘Hard’ versus ‘Spiked’ is a much more sensible business choice,” Jen says.
In addition to keeping the conversation going about the need for total safety in all venues, I think we need to talk more about what “spiked” really means to so many people in the hopes that maybe one day brands get the message—maybe I’m being dramatic, but I feel like continuing to have “spiked lemonade” and “spiked tea” on store shelves contributes to the idea that this all really isn’t a big deal. While one country attempts to face a safety crisis head-on, another uses the very word to sell alcohol. It just seems so obviously wrong, and so easily corrected.
Everything Continues to Be Bad, If Not Worse (It’s Worse)
I’m not going to say much here about the events of this past week because frankly I don’t have the energy to write it and I don’t think you have the energy to read it. We all know. And we need to focus the energy we do have on the fight and the long road ahead. So, if you can, please donate to The National Network of Abortion Funds; you can also find your state abortion fund there. Some other funds broken down by region are here. You can also donate to Plan C, and/or check out their entire hub of ways to support self-managed abortion, from sharing on social media to becoming an ambassador for the organization.
And please check out the Drinking in Another State collaboration created by Beer Is For Everyone—this is incredible work. Beer Is For Everyone has set up a fund to provide financial assistance for those who need to travel to another state where abortion is protected, as well as counseling sessions. Breweries can help raise money for that fund by brewing their own version of the Drinking in Another State. I really hope to see a lot of breweries take part in this. And even if you don’t work at a brewery, you can support this initiative other ways like fundraising—I’m still brainstorming some ways to get involved here, myself, so stay tuned.
Beer Tarot!
This week, I pulled the Four of Wands.
Wands as a suit speaks to intuition, communication, and travel; the Four of Wands in particular speaks to celebration, joy, homecoming, and some hard-won relaxation.
Ooh, look at you! What did you do to pull this happy, congratulatory card? Did you pass your Cicerone exam? Did you get a new job? Did you graduate/get a degree/complete a course? Hit a health goal or a breakthrough in therapy? Clean out the fridge? Pay 2017’s taxes? Get your first byline? Finally finish that book you’ve been reading for six months because where does the time go? Whatever it is, the Four of Wands says cheers to you. And while there are quite a few tarot cards that deal with the fulfillment and happiness that can come from hard work and striving toward a goal, the Four of Wands, specifically, would like you to celebrate. Even if you think whatever milestone you just hit is nbd. Life is short and everything in the world is very bad! You gotta take every win you can get, bb. This can mean throwing a whole darn party, or just going out to your favorite bar, or making yourself those really good cookies.
The Four of Wands might also mean a certain celebration in your life is coming up, like a wedding, graduation party, birthday party, family reunion, etc.—whether the big shebang is yours or just one you’re excitedly attending. Whatever it is, whatever the cause for celebration is and how it unfolds, savor it. Take these opportunities to unwind and dance on a table—or whatever is equivalent to you, maybe it’s karaoke or overly competitive Connect Four, idk—because you’re worth it and the people you love are worth it and wtf else do we have in life?
It’s essential you go big with this beer pairing. Uncork those bottles you’ve been cellaring—what are you waiting for, this is that “special occasion!” Or, find the most over-the-top, decadent, splurge-y stout you can, you know, one that would be ridiculous if it wasn’t so truly delicious and perfect for sharing with friends and family. For example: Other Half’s Barrel-Aged Gravity Gumbo. Made with Parish Brewing, it’s an imperial stout with coffee, chicory, pecans, pralines, and vanilla.
This Week’s Boozy Media Rec
Have you listened to the Good Ship BrewDog podcast yet? Yeah, we’re still talking about BrewDog—because A, James Watt is still engaging in abusive, destructive behavior, and B, because we don’t stop talking until we see real cultural change has happened. So while the beginning of this podcast kind of feels like the audio version of the recent BBC doc, but it both digs deeper thanks to more time and also covers more recent events. It’s a good way to get both informed and angry, and it helps that it’s really well produced.
Ex-BEER-ience of the Week
We had two big beer-related milestones just on Saturday, one exciting, the other a bummer. First, we said goodbye to St. Gambrinus, a bottle shop and bar that’s long been a part of my craft beer journey with events, tap takeovers, and simply a great selection that made discovery and learning accessible and easy. I have lots of great memories there from bustling NYC Beer Week happenings to long, leisurely afternoons catching up with friends. Today is actually their last day of business—if you’re reading this in the afternoon and are local, maybe you can catch one more beer there. Thanks for everything, St. Gambrinus.
And we also celebrated the tenth anniversary of The Owl Farm, a bar I’m so grateful to have just a few blocks from home. It’s part exceptional beer bar, part welcoming and cozy local, no fuss and no frills. I’ve written about what Owl Farm means to me here before. The anniversary celebrations had fantastic collaborations I was so excited to try, too, from Cascadian dark ales to cask lagers.
Until next week, here is Darby fighting sleep at the Owl Farm festivities. Yesterday was Darby’s birthday, and you can trust she wore a good outfit and ate lots of cheese.
